Word from the Monkey

photo of the Monkey

The Monkey

Let me tell you a little something about the big world out there. A little something about a monkey we’ll call me, who just wants to do some good, make a few people happy, maybe get free valet parking most places.

When I sit down to invent a new photo editing feature, I’m out to blow your mind. If I can’t go all the way to mind-blow, I go home. I’m like the ninja assassin of blasé. I’m like Count Count-Your-Blessings; I am wearing my pinky ring and I am coming to blow. your. mind.

But we don’t want our minds blown, you say. We need them for things like our jobs and figuring out tip percentages. 

Well I’ve got a tip for you: pay for your meal and get editing. Because the world won’t wait. The world won’t wait for you to keep your design ideas, your unborn photos, your banner graphics, your epic collages stored in your mind or your camera’s Flash drive. Other edited images will come and take those images’ places.

Here’s you: I’m thinking about maybe editing a rilly cool photo of a bird that looks like a space alien. BAM! Guess what? Somebody else created and shared that image before you finished your sentence, and she used Nip/Tuck to make the eyes look more vertical and alien-ish, and Daguerreotype to make the bird look like it was photographed in 1756. Were alien space birds flying around earth in 1756???!! Whoah, nobody ever thought of–KABLOOEY!! Grey matter explosion!! Flash mob excitement all over the world! Gas prices go down! Children’s braces come flying off!

And you thought it was okay just to have good ideas.

Editor’s note: We would like to apologize, on behalf of PicMonkey.com, to the parents of impressionable children who may begin search sessions on alien space birds in 1756, and to any living counts and/or countesses who feel their title has been slighted. The Monkey has rigged our blogging platform so that we have no control over his rants, here.